Nobody can prepare you for the onslaught of a manic episode when it hits you full-force.
No matter what you read, how many warnings you're given, what types of coping skills you have, how many times you've been through it, you're going to be blind-sided.
Nobody tells you that you can't sit still.
That you're beside yourself and you have to be doing something, anything.
You can't sit there and do the same project until it's done, you get bored shortly after it begins and you must find something else to pacify you.
Even if you know that just relaxing and staying put is the best possible thing for you, it's so difficult to do.
You're about to lose your mind.
You get cranky because you don't know what to do with yourself.
The good ideas you had quickly turn into annoying things and you don't want to do them anymore.
Work seems impossible. Your job is on the line. It's one of those things you totally lost interest in.
Your relationship gets difficult and stained. Dare I even suggest that that gets boring too? That can get irritating, that might get old. That person you're with all the time that loves you becomes the most irritating thing ever just by doing what they have always done.
And you breathe.
It's not them, it's you. Life doesn't suck, it's just in your mind. You don't need to do the million things you've on your mind, it's actually a bad idea to do them.
It's just you. It's just in your mind.
And in time, it will go away.
